What's That on Your Head? (Or: Why I Am Usually Covering My Hair)

Every time cold weather rolls around I seem to go through an energetic shift. Lots of people find themselves drawing inward at this time in different ways as the leaves fall and the snow approaches. One of the ways I personally embody this is by changing my outward appearance by wearing a head cover/hat pretty much daily.

Why?

1. Keeps me warm

Michigan weather is nothing to trifle with. I'm one of those people who is always cold, so as soon as the leaves start falling, I pull out my hats.  I regularly ask my kids if they want to wear their hats inside too. Of course, Luna is always wearing a hat at her age. We just seem to be hat people. They are also my favorite things to knit.

2. Makes me feel safe and comforted.

Head covering is mentioned in the Bible and is practiced in other religions for reasons of modesty and showing respect for God. I've sought out articles on secular head covering as well and there are a small subset of people who do practice it! I am a member of the Catholic church, but I do not head cover in my daily life for legalistic reasons (because Paul commanded it, etc).

I feel that covering my head shifts my energy and sort of "dulls" my natural highly intuitive state, which allows me to be more rested and off of constant "high alert" so to speak (other empaths probably understand what I mean). The winter is a highly beneficial time to give myself respite in this way.


3. Allows for rest also = no styling and fussing with my unruly thick hair.

My hair and I have a tumultuous relationship. When it is longer, it is a heavy burden to handle & can be physically uncomfortable. When it is short, it requires extensive styling and frequent up-keeping. When it is under something, I can relax and not fuss over what is ultimately unimportant (does it look okay?)

4. I simply like how I look in them.

To me, it is a classy and natural extension of my personal style.

I find when I am out in public shopping or running errands that I am treated with more respect while wearing a head cover. If this is because I carry myself with more grace when my head is covered or if people assume I am doing it for whatever reasons that lead them to personally treat a woman with more respect, I have no idea (and honestly, they shouldn't treat me differently if that is why they would, but I cannot/will not change the ideology of every person I encounter)...




So, if you know me personally and ever wondered why I wear so many headbands or hats, especially in colder weather, this is your answer! :)



To "wrap it up" here are a few links on different aspects of head covering:

Head Covering Throughout History (Great artwork and pictures!)

So Many Reasons to Wrap! (Perspectives from many different women--if you read one link, make it this one...from the intro: "It is becoming well known that almost every religion has something to say about hair wrapping.  It is also becoming well known that many women cover their hair for health reasons that cause hair loss (such as chemotherapy and alopecia).  We are so happy about this progress and that awareness is spreading!!

But there is so much more.  Did you know that there are a crazy amount of other reasons that women cover their hair? People are so surprised to hear how diverse the hair wrapping community is!  From fashion to political feminism, allergy avoidance to historical connection!  We asked the ladies of the Wrapunzel community that cover for ‘not so well known’ reasons to contribute and share their reasons for covering with us." 

10 Reasons Some Women are Wearing Veils in Church Again and as a counterpoint, Head Covering is Thinly Veiled Patriarchy  (which I don't agree with, but there it is. I include it because it is a criticism that comes up quite a bit. My own husband doesn't really understand why a woman would wear a veil in church or why Muslim women choose Hijab, but I think it is a beautiful practice).

Covering My Hair as a Spiritual Practice (from a Pagan perspective) - Her comments on "shielding" were very relevant to my own personal reasons for covering.

Your Hair and its Connection to Crystals and Intuition  (the "crystal bun" part is silly to me, but a lot of this is interesting, even if you think it is mumbo-jumbo)!

Garlands of Grace - one of my favorite places to purchase headbands/covers.

Little Things 10-17-16

1.

Help! I have too many knitting projects started and no stamina to finish any of them...

Also, I have recently become aware of the existence of the most perfect yarn shop I've ever set foot in (GarenHuis --downtown Holland) and I am very itchy to get back to browse as my trip was cut short by a fussy infant (whom I don't blame. She probably saved me from spending over $50. I spent a conservative $20 so I could grab a ball of yarn for her hat and some needle point covers).

Buying yarn is interesting and I try not to do it as I have a lot of unused yarn...but I have started only buying when I have a project and yardage in mind. I have tons of yarn that I'd like to ideally sell, but I haven't found anyone interested yet. I wonder if there are places you can donate yarn to (like all the cotton yarn I bought for knitting washcloths...it turns out I LOATHE knitting washcloths)?


2.

I'm back on the "no dairy" diet. I actually really like doing this, it makes me feel better (and hopefully will help Luna feel better too), but watching other people eat pizza kind of blows. I don't even particularly crave pizza, especially greasy delivery pizza, but when I'm on a dairy free diet it really is a sad state of affairs when we have pizza night and I'm eating just crust and sauce.

And then I had to pass up cannoli on Saturday at a restaurant. That was hard. Another almost-oops happened at Starbucks when I ordered a chocolate croissant because I went shopping without eating breakfast first...didn't eat the croissant after I realized it was laden with milk (I brought it home and my sister ate it). Pfftt. Did you know that Pumpkin Spice Latte SYRUP has milk in it? So even if you order soy or coconut milk there will still be dairy in the drink. Meh.


3.

I've heard it said that in some cultures there is a 40 day rest period after you give birth to a baby. Well, Luna's one month old birthday is in two days & ten more days after that is almost the end of the month...so I'm giving myself 42 days of rest and then I'm jumping back into cutting down on screen time and being a more involved mom for the boys. We were doing so well before I gave birth!

But, everything is a phase...I have noticed that since they've been watching more TV lately that they've had a little bit more of an attitude. Probably from lack of attention from me. I've been so busy learning Luna and keeping her fed that I haven't been the best at giving anyone else undivided attention. Anyway, no more beating myself up about it. Just thinking about starting to fix it. I especially want to get back to reading to them for extended periods of time each day. We were having at least two 20-30 minute story times a day (not including bedtime stories) when the screen time was limited. I have been stocking up on arts and craft supplies, which I think will help coax them back to self-entertaining and we will be using a lot of those this week :)

I also am realizing the need for a shift in discipline for Orion as he is maturing--time outs aren't really working anymore. I think a chore chart to earn his screen time may be my next big project. He does well with incentives. How do you discipline or encourage good behavior in your 4-5 year olds??


4.

(exploring new teas--I bought this because many years ago there was a berry tea from Teavana I liked quite a bit)

I'd like to start drinking more tea. The only teas I really enjoy are peppermint and Sleepytime, however. I do not like floral teas of any sort. What other sort of tea should I try? Black tea is alright, but sort of boring. I don't put milk or sugar in my tea. It just gets cold in here starting the time of year and I like a warm drink around 3pm and around bedtime...


5. I cried quietly for the first time yesterday while holding Luna, because when she sleeps and her eyes flutter, she looks like my mom. Or at least it reminds me of my mom. It's very interesting how the first few weeks of life and the period of nearing the end of life are similar in so many ways.

Seasons Change and So Do I...

I've been having a difficult time not only falling asleep lately, but also staying asleep. We have about a month until Baby #3's due date and I'm up to hourly bathroom trips whenever I lay down to try and rest. The falling asleep portion, that's new though. It's not my hips anymore keeping me up. Chiropractor work really helped that. It's my mind. I'm not even thinking of baby stuff. Not even worrying...much.

Mostly thinking about projects I'd like to immerse myself in this upcoming year. I just turned 29 last weekend, so it's time to think about how this next year should unfold for myself. I know a great deal of it will be adjusting to being a parent of three and taking care of our newborn/drinking insane amounts of iced coffee/trying to sleep when everyone else sleeps (how the heck is that going to happen)?!

So much change, but what would life be without it?

Yesterday I listened to the latest Rob Bell podcast on Seasons. There was so much comfort for me in hearing about the topic of life changes from someone else. At one point he said something along the lines of "Change is hard because it is always a loss." 

We don't like loss in our world. Even if we receive something new afterwards. We cling to the residuals of our loss. I'm going to lose out on the way being the mom of two boys feels, just like I lost out on the way being the mom to one child was...and there is no shame in mourning that with a small piece of my heart. But what we are gaining will be met with such joy. I'm so torn up that her Ama won't be here to meet her and that her knowledge of someone I love so deeply will only be told through me and other family. The change of not having her here to greet my daughter will be hard. It will remind me of my losses, but, still, the season will be new and lovely, as the birth of a new child always is. And I can't forget that in the midst of all the other chaos in my heart.

This is also the time of year I start to think about preparing myself for the long Michigan winter. I adore fall and could bask in the beauty of it for an entire year, but I cannot be distracted entirely, for after the season of autumn comes the season of winter that always wants to wrestle with my emotional and mental well being until I am exhausted and begging for it to release us all from the torment. So, I start early with a game plan to stay busy. I pin a lot of recipes to make, activities for the kids, and stockpile books for myself. This year I have a book called Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Know to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder to read and wield against my nemesis. I'm trying to spin winter positively in my mind as a time where we have to lay low and rest. This year that sounds rather appealing, but I know around Jan-Feb I will be restless and feeling caged in by the monotony and feet of lake effect snow.

So, what exactly are my plans for the upcoming months? What are my plans for this space, which has been neglected in the past month?

• I'd like to write an article about an experience I had earlier this year attending a weekend Goddess Retreat and how it was a transformational experience that I would recommend regardless of your religious affiliation (or lack thereof). 

• I am planning on keeping up with the "what we are eating" type posts--I am waiting on one picture before I can publish the article from last weeks meals.

• About one year ago I started to explore my intuition and methods for tapping into the collective unconscious that worked best for me. I have gained so much and believe that I do have a gift to eventually share, but right now, I am working on a personal index to help me with that work. Eventually I hope to offer services online or in person. 

• Continuing to learn and grow as a parent. We are going to be entering the world of Preschool in the next few weeks and the excitement is building! Mr. Two will have some alone time with me for a week or two...and then, baby sister should join us!! Deep breathing for all the new challenges ahead...

• I want to continue to be there for friends, helping out however I can. We have been really showered in blessings this year from so many different sources and I have tried to give what I can when I can to others and it makes me feel so connected to do so. This is definitely an area to continue to be open and improving in. I think this is the first time I've really realized what the phrase "building community" is all about.

• Keep a look out in your mailbox later this year because I decided I'll be writing one of those hokey Christmas newsletters for our family :) So many new people to keep in touch with and I also realized that it would be a lovely way to share Orion's amazing artwork with friends and family...

• Crafts and yarn work. Oi!!!!!! I have three works in progress on knitting needles, a pom pom mobile to complete SOON, a daily journal I try to jot notes in regularly, pictures that NEED to be changed out in all our frames, a wrapped twig project for the nursery, and a photo album to caption by this upcoming Saturday. Then there are projects I haven't even started buying materials for...and to imagine last spring I thought I would knit all the kids sweaters for Christmas. HA HA HA. Maybe next year...

Information Overload

(unrelated picture of the sunset on the summer solstice) 

On Sunday evening, I listened to a podcast on my drive home from my parent's house. Nothing unusual there, but I was struck by something the woman being interviewed was discussing. She brought up the interesting and uncomfortable idea that we can get so over saturated with information--from online sources to books, podcasts, teachers/coaches/church, even social media--that it can be easy for some of our own natural intuition/inner voice and sense of self to slip away in the process of absorbing.

It's a scary revelation for me to dig into because I do try to keep a steady source of constant information running throughout most of my days, especially when I am home during the work week.

 I am very good about ignoring/consciously selecting what "real news" I allow into my life because I have had lots of experience with the spirals of hopelessness and sadness that come over me after browsing CNN or the terrible anxious feeling of turning the radio off suddenly during a horrible news story that the kids might overhear. I'm pretty good about protecting us from that stuff regularly, but I love having podcasts on during the day, because I have always liked to learn and it helps break up my day as a stay-at-home parent. I read a lot too, but not as much as I used to because: kids. Some of you might have seen my huge haul from the recent local library book sale on Instagram. I make no apologies for that (and I was thinking about how those books fit into my proposed minimalist lifestyle, but that is a different post).  

I feel like I have learned and soaked in so much useful information that has revived my soul in the past year from so many new sources. My relationship with myself, my understanding of god, and my entire outlook on life has shifted positively due to my exploration and new avenues of information I have let into my life. 

So, I feel that even though I understand what the woman in the podcast was saying, and I have that tug of conviction (I hate the connotations of that word) towards it from inside of me, that to take a pause in taking in new things constantly would leave me feeling adrift. What would I fill my time with? It's so easy to make something like emptying the dishwasher or folding the never ending laundry piles easier if I can just listen to the new episode of On Being or reward myself with a few chapters of a book at nap time! 

I have this same information overload problem with the internet and just browsing. I read quickly, so I can go through thirty tabs with ease and be relaxed by all the different things I am taking in. Luckily, this problem is tempered by the fact that my life doesn't allow for much unstructured internet time (except this window in the morning while I drink coffee). But the example points to my information addiction. 

Maybe there are uncomfortable unanswered questions for me to explore by "turning down the noise" so to speak. I am afraid of the days seeming even longer than they already do. I am afraid of missing out on something interesting. I am afraid of my brain turning to mush if the only media I am in taking is geared towards preschoolers. 

Then again, what if calming the noise opened more time for activities like taking walks or doing the morning yoga I always tell myself I will do until the second cup of coffee is in me? What if instead of merely taking in things I start producing my own content? What if I wrote more here or committed to my journaling like I aspire to? Should I take a sabbatical from consumer in order to move more towards the creatrix side of myself? Commit myself to prayer and meditation instead of listening to lectures and sermons? Does it all come down to "is this helpful or harmful to me right now"? And how am I to learn moderation? Gretchen Rubin talks about how there are two kinds of people-- moderators and abstainers. I know when it comes down to it, I am way happier and better at being an abstainer. It's just so damn hard for me to commit to a change. This particularly would be hard as an introverted INFP. 

So, Maybe this is a area that I need to be more mindful of. I feel I should make up some set guidelines for myself and try to implement them because I do feel myself burning out from all the constant input. My body has a physical reaction to the idea of slowing down and listening to myself more. I can still pick up on that cue, so maybe it is not too late to stop living in my head and make the change to giving my brain a much needed vacation :) 

Please let me know if you have any issues in this area or wise comments to add, especially if you are a person who is very good about staying happy and content without constant streams of information in your life!