Yes, I am Still Out Here!

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the long absence. So much is going on lately! I have lost interest in knitting for now so the knit along posts sort of fell off my radar. For now, I am finishing up a spring hat for Luna and then I will put away the needles for some time. The whole sock making nonsense didn't work out very well on my first try. Maybe next year I can take a class.

Big exciting news is that Mike and I are 100% free of student loan debt and credit card debt! Right now all we owe on is our mortgage and the van. It's so amazing to finally be here! A generous gift and Mike's work bonus this year let us get to this place. Now, it's learning to use my new adjusted bimonthly budget responsibly so that we can continue to move in a positive direction (and also, it's time to splurge on new pots and pans that aren't yucky non-stick).

Also, you might have heard if you follow me on other platforms, but I recently had surgery to remove my gallbladder. I am so very thankful to report I feel much, much better than I have in a long time! The first week of recovery was very hard and I am filling with so much gratitude that even though I had to cancel a much anticipated trip to Florida, my dad, his wonderful companion, AND my sister all flew here to support us instead! It was a real treat and a blessing to share time with all of them and to be assured that the kids were in great hands while I was in surgery with Mike. As of now, I feel pretty much 100%, but sometimes heavy lifting is a bit much. Just taking it slow.

Now that Spring is here, all the energy and inspiration I've been sensing the past while has finally built to where I absolutely must do something about it, even at risk of what others may think. I told Mike, I am turning thirty soon, and I am ready for more. To be more open and commit to vulnerability in my personal relationships and in the work I want to share with the world...

I feel like a butterfly emerging from a too tight cocoon, as overused as the metaphor may be.

So, look forward to an announcement coming soon.

<3 Emily

Daily Life Photo Update

Mike's been fond of saying "Life...it's so weird" lately. I agree, but I need to add that as weird and tiring as life is, it is also amazing and worthwhile and special to even be here experiencing it, even at the times when I am the most discouraged. My family shines bright even when the world is dark and I'm grateful for all the small good things in my life (my advice: set down your phone. You'll be surprised at how much more you can notice and savor if you do. I swear after one day without the thing I wish I could live that way more often...can you all start calling me instead of texting? That would help. Ha ha).

The boys asked for haircuts and the next morning they wanted "dinosaur hair" for church.

Little Lu is already a multiple time roller (who keeps waking herself up at night).

A peaceful spot of my own...these are really necessary right now.

We've been playing board games in the morning. Don't mind the wall...progress is being made on it!

Orion "reading" to Luna. They have a good relationship already. 

He likes to tell her what e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is. 

Finally, a morning at preschool where recess could be outside!

 My side of the dresser...

Usual morning activities going on...

Meal planning set-up

I just love her!!!

Buying the kid friendly knives was a GREAT decision. They helped cut up grapes and peaches for the fruit salad and now every evening Otto asks what he can cut for dinner!

Otto also likes to find my phone and steal it to take photos...He took this picture of Orion!

Chocolate Babka from Smitten Kitchen. It didn't rise as well as last time.

I can't believe she will be 5 months in a few days!!

We (finally) got a new vacuum!!! It's amazing!! Our old thing was a beast and even Mike had a hard time pushing it on our plush carpets. Now I can do it with ease :)

I plan on posting a Yarn Along post tomorrow and I'll try to think up something interesting to write about here. I'm sure you understand that it has been hard to think of things with the state of the world currently (and then a baby with the four month sleep regression). I do miss writing though!! Would you be interested in a post detailing the blogs I currently love? 

A Visit from Papa! and Other Small Updates

dealing with some sinus issues and feeling run down but this week has been a very nice break from the monotony of everyday winter life, because from Sunday through yesterday we had our papa with us!!

we had a really nice dinner on monday night with my dad, who brought over cheese & crackers (as is the Freyer way) along with pears & artichokes. the boys loved the artichokes! i was very excited about that, even if you do drench them in butter. mike made chicken wings in his new fryer and i made crispy crowns (which are orion's "favorite thing that is crispy! and also, my favorite thing that is crowns."). maybe not a balanced meal, but really delightful-- i get a lot of joy watching otto eat 5 or more chicken wings ("bone bones!" he calls them).

tuesday papa got to come with us to take orion to preschool and see his classroom. we did some errands and visited the library with the other kids while orion was in class. papa was even kind enough to babysit tuesday night so mike and i could go out to dinner together, which hasn't happened at all since baby luna made her appearance back in september!

i feel like we made some good memories to tide us over until he returns in the spring (and our aunt marti even visited yesterday. she was a good sport who subjected herself to sitting through a long presentation of every drawing orion has completed in the past month, handed to her one by one for inspection, followed by a scooby doo movie because orion was determined to change her into a fan).

i always love when i get to spend time with my family. everything is different now, but i am very glad to have them whenever they can be here.

Luna is 3mo and 25 days old!

luna really really really wants to roll over and is very close. enough so that the grand un-swaddling has begun. i'm not about to let her roll over all wrapped up and unable to get back the right way. when that happened unexpectedly with otto i almost had a heart attack. and so. we are left to the alternative of disjointed sleep as she tries to figure out how to sleep through flailing limbs and i try to learn to comfort her sweetly and effectively without being a crutch to her or freaking out entirely. sleep regressions...i hate you. you always seem to happen unexpectedly right when we've reached a nice sweet spot of thinking we are finally going to be able to sleep like normal people again. i'm trying very hard to get her some naps with substance so that she continues being the sweet baby you see in the above photo ;) 

my head feels like daggers are going through my eyeballs constantly, so i really have no desire to be social or do more than the bare minimum at the moment. i'm disheartened to learn this could last for 4-6 weeks before i feel better. thank goodness i have no fever and therefore don't have to take antibiotics. thank goodness i am not reading the news because i feel like my headache would be five times worse due to all the nasty political nonsense. double thank goodness there is an ice day here today so no school (although i feel really bad about that too because it was going to be pajama party day and orion was really looking forward to it).

amended to add: his teacher called me and they will have pajama day on tuesday...phew! 

yes. recovery is the plan for the rest of the week. recovery from company, recovery from lack of home maintenance (laundry mountains are high), and hopefully some recovery of health if i can sneak in a few extra showers. hot washcloths are the most helpful things for my face at this moment. hot lemon water is good too.

here's a photo of my current knitting project. the pattern is the most simplistic thing ever, but right now that is about all i can handle. i also like how it looks. hopefully i can take a full stock of my yarn situation here soon and make a game plan for next projects. considering knitting some baby hats for the hospital as i have a lot of half-skeins of baby yarn laying around...decided against the lace mess shawl for now as i realized i don't have enough yarn.

until next time, where i hopefully will be in better spirits and running on a little more sleep...:)

My New Year's Intentions

• Give up mascara forever (It makes my eyes so uncomfortable! It's never worth the extra "prettiness," and I have thrown out three tubes this year after forgetting that).
• Continue to let my hair grow long?? 
• To only wear things that make me happy & comfortable.
• Attend church on a more regular basis and stop making excuses.
• Joyfully attend to my chores at home & continue to make our home a cozy haven.
• Play with my children daily, even if it means neglecting my chores.
• Recover from my fears and go outside more often. 
• To treat my husband as a true friend. 
• Find a way to make the community I so badly need as I cannot find it already in existence near me.
• To continue to make time for my crafts & hopefully to not have to frog any knitting this year!
• Learn more about local plants and nature. Maybe herbalism, although I am not sure I feel called to that specific study. 
• Keep up with my daily planner, my spiritual notebook, and my meal planning diary, as well as this blog.
• Write the book/zine that has been weighing on my heart for months now--to get it out there no matter if it does anything for anyone but me.
• Stretch/do yoga poses in some amount daily.
• Stay hydrated and continue to stay away from soda pop.
• "Give love" (i.e. hugs and kisses) multiple times a day to my family. 
• Make a more concrete sleep routine and boundaries.
• Use post-it notes to my advantage (Bathroom mirror reminders & mantras).
• Offer something of my unique gifts to the world without shame.
• Release things that aren't helping me...Facebook friends who post things that ramp up my anxiety...news and websites I don't need to be dwelling on..."coaches," guides, and authors who don't really speak to or inspire me...unfollow them all....to release these things with love & just realize they don't work for me. 
• Daily prayer/daily gratitude
• Go to Ludington and listen to the wind blow through the trees at the house.
• Give more/lose lack mentality/recognize my privileges
• Read to my children daily...even as a book lover sometimes it is hard to get this done.
• Accept the next stage. That life is for the living and we have to keep on...no, not that we "have" to keep on...that we GET to keep on and that it is a gift. 

What do you have planned for 2017? Can we help each other or can I encourage you on your journey? 

in which i write in a somewhat different way but i hope you'll bear with me (+ Christmas photos).

this is how it always used to be. stream-of-conscious. no time for capitals. no explanations.

i see 5:55 all the time. it means a change. a positive change. i sure hope so. i feel like i've been removing crusty sleepers from my eyes lately. i've been scared a lot but i feel like maybe i am starting to turn the corner on that. the 555's have helped. everything with my body has been setting me off lately since the kidney stone incident. the weather fluctuations have me feeling under, the lack of sleep from nursing and enjoying the holidays has taken it's toll. i need to get back to a safe place where i can say "it is well with my soul." i heard that "rumination" causes anxiety and depression and i certainly ruminate too much. i'd like to stop!

it's been quiet in the house the past day and night without all the boys here. did i ever think i would miss the noise? and yet...

here are some photos from Christmas and the holiday season thus far:

Painting after being inspired by Bob Ross on Netflix

Out shopping with Dad for Christmas dinner

Hunting for the pickle on the Christmas tree

 Cookie Time

 Otto's new blocks from Papa and new Pirate Ship from Santa

"Manty" the praying mantis! Orion's new BFF

 Christmas Dinner was Chicken Picatta, but I forgot to make the fried lemon slices.

 Another Christmas gift was kid-safe knives for the boys. We tried them out with pears at breakfast a couple days ago.

Luna, happy as usual :) 

there are no photos of me winning a close game of scrabble, which also happened, or of many other small happy moments i am trying to carry close to my heart. even when things are hard, they aren't so hard that in a year i'll be upset over them still. keep calm and carry on is what i'll tell myself. look at that smiling baby and those wonderful boys. who wouldn't consider them the best gifts of all time??

My Favorite Books of the Past Five Years!

2016 is the fifth year in a row I've kept track of all the books I've read (well, except cookbooks) on Goodreads! In celebration of this fact, I thought I would share a list of my utmost favorites with all of you today. These books are not in order of favoritism, but merely chronological by year.

2012


Columbine by Dave Cullen

This book still haunts me. It was an outstanding piece of journalism I read while rocking baby Orion in his bouncer all the wee hours of the morning at my parent's house.

What We Have: A Family's Inspiring Story of Love, Loss, and Survival by Amy Boesky

This was a book about a family where women all passed away from ovarian cancer. It was one of the first books dealing with cancer I read after mom's diagnoses.

2012 was also the year I read the Game of Thrones series and discovered the writing of Anne Lamott.

2013

The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

I liked this one so much I gave it as a Christmas gift. How could you not love a book that contains the quote: “Instead, we'd do what we always did, the only thing we'd ever been dependably stellar at: we'd read.” 

Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father's Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater by Matthew Amster-Burton

Even now, having raised one non-adventurous eater and one borderline one, I LOVE this book. I recommended it to so many people in 2013-2014. I went bonkers when I discovered the Spilled Milk podcast with the author, Matthew, and Molly Wizenburg. I downloaded every back episode and listened to them all while walking Orion around the neighborhood. I still listen to and fan-girl hard for that podcast and this book. 

The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

If I could be as bold as to recommend one book to read at this time of year from this list, it would be The Snow Child. A modern fairy tale of sorts that kept me captivated.

2014

A Good Marriage by Stephan King

SO scary. Absolutely terrifying. I loved it. This is really a small novella and a very quick but potent read. I got into reading Stephan King novels while Mike was on business trips that year...silly, right??

My Life in France by Julia Child

I absolutely love food memoirs...they are my favorite genre. Reading a book by Julia Child is as good as it gets and you can pass on that movie Julia & Julia and just read this instead for a vivid and full picture of what an amazing life she led. 

An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace by Tamar Adler

I know...another food book, but I mentioned this one in my last post and it really is a game changer. 

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Haunting. Disturbing. Beautiful. 

The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan

I actually disliked this book after I read it. But then I kept thinking about it. And thinking about it. And then I realized it was a really great book because of it's ability to stay stuck in my mind. It's an intense read & very explicit, so be warned if that isn't something you are okay with in a novel. Now looking back, I would not only recommend it, but read it again. I love Amy Tan. 

2015

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

I had no idea they had made this into a TV show when I found my copy at the library used bookstore. In fact, my first thought was "Hey! It's that really large and elegant looking book that always used to stand out to me when I worked at the library but I never opened it" (thank goodness, I was in high school then). 

Since I love HUGE novels that take me forever to go through...I decided to buy and read it...and now here I am, seven HUGE novels later, reading the 8th and final book she has out in the series for the moment. 

This book has everything. My least favorite genre is historical fiction because I usually feel like they don't have enough time to capture everything. Well, this series certainly does. There is time travel for folks who that matters to, sex, death, war, love, many medical procedures described that will make you glad you live in modern times...etc...

I'm also very glad that I've been lucky enough to share my experience reading this series with my friend, Kristen. It's the kind of book you definitely want to share opinions on, make fun of, and have someone you can text at all sorts of weird hours to say "OMG!!" about.

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

When I was in college, I went to go see Elizabeth McCracken speak one night, because I had read and enjoyed her novel The Giant's House. She talked about writing a book about a circus family, but I believe that that never came to fruition, because this was the next book she wrote, after that talk. It's terrible and so very sad, but beautiful and something everyone should read, regardless if you are a parent or not. 


2016

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole 

I haven't enjoyed a book as much as I enjoyed this one in at least the last five years. It was the perfect thing to read in the current political climate. I studied English in college and postmodern literature and searching for hidden meanings/enjoying subtleties was one of my favorite parts of my classes. This classic delivered in spades. I actually laughed out loud multiple times, something that no author except maybe P.G. Wodehouse has had me do before.

Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hahn

I've read a lot of spiritual books in the past five years, but this is the one that stuck. Quotes from it bubble up in my head nearly every day and remind me to be more mindful and present. I'm very grateful for books like Hands Free Mama, The Saint's Guide to Happiness, Woman Who Run with the Wolves, etc...but this book is presented so simply and effectively that it was hard to top:

• “We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.” 
•  “Each time you look at a tangerine, you can see deeply into it. You can see everything in the universe in one tangerine. When you peel it and smell it, it’s wonderful. You can take your time eating a tangerine and be very happy.” 
• “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” 

There you have it! My (hopefully) exciting book recommendations. I would love to hear what your favorite read of the past year was if you'd like to leave a comment! Maybe I will read it in 2017 :)

If we aren't already friends on Goodreads, I would love to connect there too!

A [Snow] Day in the Life...

8:25 AM- Luna is napping, the boys watch Creative Galaxy, and I cook breakfast.
8:29 AM- I drop the salt grinder into the raw eggs.
8:32 AM- Wash shaker, turn on music, plate up breakfast, and write my to-do list for the day.

8:32-8:41 AM-Eat and chat with Orion. Otto doesn't want to eat right now. I bounce Luna who woke up so I can finish eating.
8:41 AM- Otto comes to join us and gets upset that I put butter on his cinnamon toast. He says, "No! No thank you!" Orion tries to guess what the surprise I told him I have for the snow day is.
8:48 AM- Quick breakfast clean up. Drink some re-heated coffee. Otto eats his orange.
8:50 AM- I clean the crock pot.

8:55 AM- Grab Luna's toy bar and bring Otto his cup from the other room. Get asked to bring Orion's cup to him from a different place in the living room. Fill it with diluted apple juice.
8:58 AM- Load dishwasher. Mike was nice and did most of the dishes last night :)
9:01 AM- Give boys the surprise (new construction paper & craft supplies). Nurse Luna.

9:12 AM- Help the boys open packages of pom poms, find glue, etc and put Luna on her playmat.

9:18 AM- Luna is cranky so I change her and swaddle her for a real nap, then bounce her in her bouncy seat. I go and grab my knitting first.
9:22 AM- bounce Luna. Help boys with glitter glue and turn on a podcast.
9:26 AM- No knitting for me. Just helping Otto with pom poms and glitter.
9:35 AM- Luna's eyes shut. Knitting a tiny bit and "eating" pom pom muffins the boys made.
9:40 AM- Change Otto's diaper and get him a clean shirt. He won't part with his Ninja Turtle PJ pants. He wants to have a changing table discussion about ghosts.
9:42 AM- Put Luna in her crib.
9:47 AM- Otto wants to watch Team Umizoomi. I take my podcast to my room to fold laundry.

9:57 AM- Tooth hurts. Remember to call dentist.
10:01 AM- On hold. Drink a large glass of water.
10:08 AM- Made an appointment, got an estimate, and call Mike to relay the info. Back to podcast and laundry.
10:14 AM- Get distracted cleaning some clutter out of my dresser. Add things to Goodwill box in garage/put away some books.
10:16-10:22 AM- Mike calls. Talk a bit and text him list of things to bring home from store (snow pants for Orion who has preschool tomorrow)!
10:22 AM-Finish folding clothes and tidying our room.
10:30 AM- Orion brings me a cool snake he made with the art supplies. There are eyeballs on both sides of the snake!

10:33 AM- Oops. Still have to match socks. My least favorite.
10:40 AM- Luna is fussing. Her eyes are still shut, so I give her her binky and she is comforted back to sleep.
10:41 AM- Put away the boys laundry, make their beds, and tidy their room. Usually they would help do all those things, but they are recovering from colds and coughs, so I am taking it easy on them today.
10:43 AM- Luna is up for real this time. Change her diaper and head to living room with her play mat.

10:50 AM- Orion gets a set of clean clothes to change into.
11:13 Am- Luna wants to nurse again. I am set to read blogs on my Feedly app, but Orion wants to tell me about his cool amusement park drawing. Otto wants to talk about Christmas and kiss & snuggle me on the couch.
11:21 AM- Orion's turn to pick a show. He picks the Christmas episode of Octonauts. I like this one.
11:29 AM- Decide to comb cradlecap on Luna's head.
11:34 AM- Give up and put a hat on Luna.
11:41 AM- Luna is unusually cranky, but bouncing her is working. I decide to turn on one more Octonauts so I can calm her a little longer before making lunch just so she falls asleep. There were only two updated blogs on my Feedly when I looked and one I just glanced at. Not exciting.
11:50 AM- Head to the kitchen to make noodles and cut veggies for lunch. Luna comes with me, but in the bouncer still. I didn't swaddle her so I'm not going to try putting her in the crib.
12:01 PM- Do a few dishes while noodles cook. One podcast ends and I start a second.
12:15 PM- Light candles by the sink to make me happy.

12:23 PM- Pause show and my podcast. Find a magazine and sit down to eat with boys.
12:40 PM- Luna is fussy. I try nursing again because this is unusual that she is waking so often. I let the boys finish the last 7 minutes of Octonauts.
12:50- I change Otto and he calls me "mean mommy!" for the first time ever, while laughing.
12:55 PM- Luna looks at mobile in her crib while I give boys I SPY books and four chocolate chips apiece to bribe them into napping. I remember to go blow out the candles in the kitchen.
1:00 PM- Change Luna and wrap her up to rock in Rock N Play. Grab my Kindle.
1:03 PM- Remember battery needs changing on Rock N Play. Do that.
1:05 PM- Sit down to read & rock.
1:20 PM- Thank goodness she fell asleep because the boys snuck out of their room. I herd them back to bed and tell them a made-up Pirate Story and sing one song about Batman and one song about Pickles per request.
1:32 PM- Check on Luna, then lay down in my bed with a guided meditation on my phone.
1:49 PM- Otto is crying. I bring the boys into my bed so I can try to rest a little at least, please?
2:12 PM- Give up on boy's napping and put on Frozen. The boys wanted to watch it on TV last night after the "funny video show" (AFV-we watch as a family Sunday nights), but it was bedtime.
2:29 PM- Put binky back in Luna's mouth and rock her for a few minutes. Read a few more pages.
2:33 PM- Write a few more Christmas cards. The rest I need to ask Mike for the addresses for.
2:48-3:16 PM- Luna lets out one cry but is asleep when I go to check. I start working on typing all this up so far.
3:20 PM- Orion doesn't want to finish the movie because it is scary. Play time then, fine by me!
3:26 PM- Help boys bring toys to living room. Hang up Orion's amusement park picture.
3:34 PM- Finish cleaning up from lunch...think I hear Luna, but she's still asleep. Orion is back to his "Creation Station" making something and Otto is being goofy. He locked himself in their room and I let him out. Time to start making some soft pretzel dough in the bread maker.
3:37-3:47 PM- Help boys make monsters with the craft supplies
3:48 PM- Change Otto
3:52 PM- Finish loading dishwasher and run it.
3:57 PM- Take cards to mailbox & bring in trash can.
4:01 PM- Start playing with the boys in the living room. We launch all the little toys off the Lion Guard playset. They keep at it after the phone rings...
4:13 PM- Mike calls. He's on his way to the store/out of work!
4:23 PM- Boys running around pretending to be the Flash!
4:30 PM- Luna is up :) Change her and get ready to nurse. Boys back at the craft table.
4:41 PM- Finish nursing Luna. I read my devotions for the day on my phone while nursing. Just signed up for Blessed Is She site. Wish they had a devotion app! Otto is goofing around with us on the couch.
4:50 PM- Off the phone with Mike. Walmart is sold out of toddler snow pants except one pair in the wrong size. I start looking for a pair to order on Amazon.
4:59 PM- What a debacle. Even Amazon had slim pickings on snow pants. I ordered a pair of Columbia pants for $25 something because they will be here by Wednesday and all the cheaper ones were back ordered until after Christmas! I feel okay knowing that all three kids might wear them as time goes on. Normally I would start cooking dinner, but Mike is bringing home the chicken I need. The pretzel dough is ready to be cut and set to rise though!

In the next hour, Mike came home and we fed the boys dinner and ate pretzels. I started making our dinner with the chicken he brought home...

6:02 PM- Feed Luna!
6:15 PM- Dinner for us is supposed to cook another 1/2 hour.
6:25 PM- Checked food and it is done (everything was cooked before I put it in the oven and it is bubbling and hot)...Eat!
6:35 PM- Take a shower & lay down until boys are in bed. I'm sleepy and a few minutes of solitude are always appreciated. Usually I write in my journal or read a little bit if I get alone time at this point in the day and shower after the kids are in bed, but tonight all the kids are snuggled up with Mike on the couch watching a TV show, so I just do it now.
7:30 PM- Wake up from my half-sleep state. Something is amiss. It's the glue from craft time...Otto kind of found it and might have made a mess...I help Mike and the kids clean up and then boys brush their teeth. Luna is taking a short nap in her bouncer. Then Mike reads to the boys while I finish picking up the craft area and then I tell them another pirate story (we sail the pirate ship to Mario Island and fight Bowser) and sing once they are in bed.
8:08 PM- Nursed Luna again/changed/swaddled her. I'm holding her again after nursing and playing my one phone game I'm into (Emoji Blitz).
8:26 PM- Lay Luna in her crib. She usually sleeps for 6-7 hours before waking up to eat (She woke up at 2:20 AM last night and I was back in my bed at 2:45 AM. Then she woke up at 5:30 to eat and was up for the day at 7 AM).
9:00 PMish- I'm exhausted. Mike's pretty tired too and in bed already. He turns on Bob Ross painting on Netflix & that puts me right to bed! I fall asleep holding a Blue Aragonite crystal.

What's That on Your Head? (Or: Why I Am Usually Covering My Hair)

Every time cold weather rolls around I seem to go through an energetic shift. Lots of people find themselves drawing inward at this time in different ways as the leaves fall and the snow approaches. One of the ways I personally embody this is by changing my outward appearance by wearing a head cover/hat pretty much daily.

Why?

1. Keeps me warm

Michigan weather is nothing to trifle with. I'm one of those people who is always cold, so as soon as the leaves start falling, I pull out my hats.  I regularly ask my kids if they want to wear their hats inside too. Of course, Luna is always wearing a hat at her age. We just seem to be hat people. They are also my favorite things to knit.

2. Makes me feel safe and comforted.

Head covering is mentioned in the Bible and is practiced in other religions for reasons of modesty and showing respect for God. I've sought out articles on secular head covering as well and there are a small subset of people who do practice it! I am a member of the Catholic church, but I do not head cover in my daily life for legalistic reasons (because Paul commanded it, etc).

I feel that covering my head shifts my energy and sort of "dulls" my natural highly intuitive state, which allows me to be more rested and off of constant "high alert" so to speak (other empaths probably understand what I mean). The winter is a highly beneficial time to give myself respite in this way.


3. Allows for rest also = no styling and fussing with my unruly thick hair.

My hair and I have a tumultuous relationship. When it is longer, it is a heavy burden to handle & can be physically uncomfortable. When it is short, it requires extensive styling and frequent up-keeping. When it is under something, I can relax and not fuss over what is ultimately unimportant (does it look okay?)

4. I simply like how I look in them.

To me, it is a classy and natural extension of my personal style.

I find when I am out in public shopping or running errands that I am treated with more respect while wearing a head cover. If this is because I carry myself with more grace when my head is covered or if people assume I am doing it for whatever reasons that lead them to personally treat a woman with more respect, I have no idea (and honestly, they shouldn't treat me differently if that is why they would, but I cannot/will not change the ideology of every person I encounter)...




So, if you know me personally and ever wondered why I wear so many headbands or hats, especially in colder weather, this is your answer! :)



To "wrap it up" here are a few links on different aspects of head covering:

Head Covering Throughout History (Great artwork and pictures!)

So Many Reasons to Wrap! (Perspectives from many different women--if you read one link, make it this one...from the intro: "It is becoming well known that almost every religion has something to say about hair wrapping.  It is also becoming well known that many women cover their hair for health reasons that cause hair loss (such as chemotherapy and alopecia).  We are so happy about this progress and that awareness is spreading!!

But there is so much more.  Did you know that there are a crazy amount of other reasons that women cover their hair? People are so surprised to hear how diverse the hair wrapping community is!  From fashion to political feminism, allergy avoidance to historical connection!  We asked the ladies of the Wrapunzel community that cover for ‘not so well known’ reasons to contribute and share their reasons for covering with us." 

10 Reasons Some Women are Wearing Veils in Church Again and as a counterpoint, Head Covering is Thinly Veiled Patriarchy  (which I don't agree with, but there it is. I include it because it is a criticism that comes up quite a bit. My own husband doesn't really understand why a woman would wear a veil in church or why Muslim women choose Hijab, but I think it is a beautiful practice).

Covering My Hair as a Spiritual Practice (from a Pagan perspective) - Her comments on "shielding" were very relevant to my own personal reasons for covering.

Your Hair and its Connection to Crystals and Intuition  (the "crystal bun" part is silly to me, but a lot of this is interesting, even if you think it is mumbo-jumbo)!

Garlands of Grace - one of my favorite places to purchase headbands/covers.

Well, at Least I Finished the Hat...

Where have I been?!

Well, let me tell you...Settle in, this could take a bit...You might already know some of this from Facebook if you follow me there.



Last Tuesday was Luna's two month check up! She's healthy and really short, basically. She's in the bottom percentile for height, but in the 10th for weight (9lbs 11oz)! Growing well though so no concerns. She had her shots, poor thing, and on the way home from the appointment I began to feel poorly myself.

See, the day before, after Mike left for work, I ended up with a really bad cramp in my left side. The heating pad I tried did nothing for it, but I took an Ibuprofen and called Mike to ask if I could go to urgent care to get it looked at. He agreed and we went over there together. They told me I had a UTI and my side pain was just probably a "pulled muscle." Well.

Okay, back to Tuesday. The horrible side pain comes back while I'm driving. By the time I get home I'm just praying how thankful I am that I got us home and I walk through the door, tell Mike he has to unload the kids, and go to our bedroom to try to lay down and cry. I couldn't get comfortable. It was excruciating. I read online something about ruptured appendixes and kind of freak out. Tell Mike and we agree that he will drop me off at the ER because it's not getting better and I'm feeling nauseous on top of it all.

Mike drops me off at the hospital to go put the kids to bed because we have no idea how long this will take. I tell the nurses I urgently have to use the rest room and they tell me to take a sample. There's not much coming out, but okay. They tell me I'm severely dehydrated and start fluids as well as two different pain killers. I'm throwing up in a bag as she's trying to get me the meds. They tell me next is to relax until I can go for a CT scan. The scan uncovers an 8mm kidney stone and they also let me know I NEVER HAD A UTI. I've never had one before in my life though so I didn't know to question that! The nurse said the urgent care just assumed that from the presence of blood in my urine...which was quite annoying for me to have wasted money being misdiagnosed. They should have sent me to the ER the previous day.

ER sends me home with painkillers and I'm still super doped up from the IV, which means Luna has to take formula for the first time ever. She's my first kid to ever have even tried it. I only had two bottles of "mama water" (what Otto calls breast milk) pumped in the freezer. This upset me quite a bit, but once I get home and Mike says she took to it no problem I relax a bit, because this is a dire situation and was my last resort. Fed babies are happy babies, I remind myself.

Bros being big helpers while I was ill. 

Wednesday I meet with the urologist. He says I might have to wait until Friday or Monday for the surgery I need because of Thanksgiving. He calls the hospital to check. They are going to be closed Friday too. He asks me when I last ate and I tell him...and thank god, they get me in that night! Our lovely friend watched the kids so Mike could be with me. I wake up with a stent and super hungry.

The next day was Thanksgiving! I did too much and it was quite tiring, but I was in a cheerful mood because that horrible (seriously, horrible. I'd rather have contraction pain) pain was gone! Mike did a great deal of the cooking, bless him (yes, we STILL hosted Thanksgiving here)! I was planning on making two types of rolls from scratch, but you can see we bought some instead. I did make the stuffing myself and the wild rice and tangerine salad. Mike took over the cranberries for me, made a pie, and spatch-cocked the turkey on the grill. The other side dishes were brought by our guests.

Luna's so cute...enjoying being passed around on her 1st Thanksgiving

After Thursday I rested a great deal. I thought about working on the hat for Otto I've been posting on the Yarn Along posts, but sleep is much more satisfying than knitting (and knitting on pain medicine would probably be a disaster for me). My routine was pain pills, read Outlander, and fall asleep until Luna needed me. It was a glorious three days of rest that I feel I've been needing for four years! Only wish I didn't have to go through what I did to get there. Happily, I was able to resume breast feeding too.

All day Sunday I was an anxious wreck because the stent had to come out and the surgeon told me to remove it myself. I'm very proud to say that I accomplished that and I did take a picture once it was out of me, but I won't post it here because I want to keep the few blog readers I do have ;)

We also put up the Christmas tree Saturday. Oops. I'm going out of chronological order here. The Ninja Turtle ornaments were my idea (Pinterest) but Mike and Orion bought the components and assembled them. All of us helped make the cranberry garland, which was actually pretty enjoyable and took less cranberries than I imagined. I'm quite thrilled the tree looks different than the past few years! And we decided the boys are old enough now that we'd try putting it back inside. The past two years we've put the tree out in the sun room until Christmas morning. So far, so good, but Otto will still try to dismantle it if he is unattended and in a feisty mood...

I also went out Black Friday for some thrifting (Orion grew into 4T pants overnight) and found this sweet little snow lady for $1 to add to my Christmas mantle. My mom had quite a collection of snowmen/snowwomen she put out every year and this one certainly reminds me of her <3

Sunday my friend Kristen and I both took our oldest kids to see Moana together. I loved it! My favorite character was the grandmother. Orion choose sour skittles and chocolate milk for his movie snack, which makes my stomach churn but he was happy. I drank a huge overpriced bottle of water because I'm too afraid to drink soda now and ate a lot of popcorn. Afterwards, they came back to our house and Kristen took some family photos for us so I could put together our Christmas card. I'm so pleased with how they turned out but I'm not posting more here because they will be on the cards!

But don't think my health woes were over after all that fun!!!

My next hurdle was my tooth. My front right tooth had been causing me a lot of pain since the vomiting-at-the-hospital incident. So I had to waste precious time going to the dentist to be told I need a root canal. Joy! This appointment was scheduled for Wednesday, but the surgeon had a death in the family and now I wait until next week.



So, can you see I've been a little too busy to post? It's funny because I've never had a reason to distrust my body before but it seems to be revolting. There are also lovely symptoms of having my good gut bacteria killed off from the antibiotics I was prescribed after surgery....*sigh*

Anyhow, I am still supposed to be taking it easy, but it is HARD. I told myself to ignore the dishes this morning and do something fun instead. So I finished Otto's hat! The pattern is Barley by Tin Can Knits and you can find my notes on the project at my Ravelry page.

He told me he liked it, but then declared that it is a "skateboard!" and not a hat at all...

Finally, here we are. The week has gone by very fast and that's one of the best things I can say. I am looking forward to maybe squeezing in a nap if we are lucky...and I'm hoping to get back to church because Advent is one of my favorite times of the year. I'll leave you with these two cute photos of a super happy Lu. She's definitely the most smiley baby out of all my kids!