Daily Life Photo Update

Mike's been fond of saying "Life...it's so weird" lately. I agree, but I need to add that as weird and tiring as life is, it is also amazing and worthwhile and special to even be here experiencing it, even at the times when I am the most discouraged. My family shines bright even when the world is dark and I'm grateful for all the small good things in my life (my advice: set down your phone. You'll be surprised at how much more you can notice and savor if you do. I swear after one day without the thing I wish I could live that way more often...can you all start calling me instead of texting? That would help. Ha ha).

The boys asked for haircuts and the next morning they wanted "dinosaur hair" for church.

Little Lu is already a multiple time roller (who keeps waking herself up at night).

A peaceful spot of my own...these are really necessary right now.

We've been playing board games in the morning. Don't mind the wall...progress is being made on it!

Orion "reading" to Luna. They have a good relationship already. 

He likes to tell her what e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is. 

Finally, a morning at preschool where recess could be outside!

 My side of the dresser...

Usual morning activities going on...

Meal planning set-up

I just love her!!!

Buying the kid friendly knives was a GREAT decision. They helped cut up grapes and peaches for the fruit salad and now every evening Otto asks what he can cut for dinner!

Otto also likes to find my phone and steal it to take photos...He took this picture of Orion!

Chocolate Babka from Smitten Kitchen. It didn't rise as well as last time.

I can't believe she will be 5 months in a few days!!

We (finally) got a new vacuum!!! It's amazing!! Our old thing was a beast and even Mike had a hard time pushing it on our plush carpets. Now I can do it with ease :)

I plan on posting a Yarn Along post tomorrow and I'll try to think up something interesting to write about here. I'm sure you understand that it has been hard to think of things with the state of the world currently (and then a baby with the four month sleep regression). I do miss writing though!! Would you be interested in a post detailing the blogs I currently love? 

My New Year's Intentions

• Give up mascara forever (It makes my eyes so uncomfortable! It's never worth the extra "prettiness," and I have thrown out three tubes this year after forgetting that).
• Continue to let my hair grow long?? 
• To only wear things that make me happy & comfortable.
• Attend church on a more regular basis and stop making excuses.
• Joyfully attend to my chores at home & continue to make our home a cozy haven.
• Play with my children daily, even if it means neglecting my chores.
• Recover from my fears and go outside more often. 
• To treat my husband as a true friend. 
• Find a way to make the community I so badly need as I cannot find it already in existence near me.
• To continue to make time for my crafts & hopefully to not have to frog any knitting this year!
• Learn more about local plants and nature. Maybe herbalism, although I am not sure I feel called to that specific study. 
• Keep up with my daily planner, my spiritual notebook, and my meal planning diary, as well as this blog.
• Write the book/zine that has been weighing on my heart for months now--to get it out there no matter if it does anything for anyone but me.
• Stretch/do yoga poses in some amount daily.
• Stay hydrated and continue to stay away from soda pop.
• "Give love" (i.e. hugs and kisses) multiple times a day to my family. 
• Make a more concrete sleep routine and boundaries.
• Use post-it notes to my advantage (Bathroom mirror reminders & mantras).
• Offer something of my unique gifts to the world without shame.
• Release things that aren't helping me...Facebook friends who post things that ramp up my anxiety...news and websites I don't need to be dwelling on..."coaches," guides, and authors who don't really speak to or inspire me...unfollow them all....to release these things with love & just realize they don't work for me. 
• Daily prayer/daily gratitude
• Go to Ludington and listen to the wind blow through the trees at the house.
• Give more/lose lack mentality/recognize my privileges
• Read to my children daily...even as a book lover sometimes it is hard to get this done.
• Accept the next stage. That life is for the living and we have to keep on...no, not that we "have" to keep on...that we GET to keep on and that it is a gift. 

What do you have planned for 2017? Can we help each other or can I encourage you on your journey? 

An Update with Pictures (Long post)

Currently eating this lovely little tureen of oatmeal while I type. It's so amusing to me that people complain about how long steel cut oats take to cook because from the time from when I decide I should start cooking myself breakfast to the time I actually get to eat said breakfast between feeding children, wiping up children, changing children's shirts, and finding children some entertainment so I can sit down to eat...it's been way more than enough time for my steel cut oats to cook (and making one batch makes enough for 3-4 days). This concoction is Comice pear, vanilla, and the tiniest amount of brown sugar. I cooked the oats in almond milk to use it up. 

Orion's fourth birthday was a huge success and he had a delightful handmade dinosaur cake that I regrettably did not get a photo of...

In this photo above you can see that he got to eat breakfast in the living room, because he was too excited to leave his new toy. It's a giant plastic monstrosity, but he had asked for it continuously for about two months (and even made me watch a ten minute YouTube review of all the cool features it has, which admittedly, is quite a few) so we decided that he should have it because he showed such devotion. It's the Lion Guard Training Lair play set and we found it for the best price on Amazon after the Target here was sold out of them. The Ninja Turtles and various Nintendo figures like to play on the jungle too, along with Kion and his friends. 

Other gifts included amazing Waldorf colored pencils, more dinosaur toys, and some chapter books to read together from Papa, Teenage Mutant Turtle figures and a Turtle Garbage Truck from his aunties, a Learning Resources cash register from his other grandparents, art supplies (including Dino themed art kits) and a set of Junior Legos from his friends. What is left for Santa to bring?! Just socks probably, haha...Speaking of the Junior Legos though...

We've been making a bag of Legos from his birthday set every day during quiet time. It's so much fun! These Legos have now moved to their own Lego shelf from the spot in this photo and Batman has been demoted from his wrecking crane operating because we made the construction mini figure that Orion insists is more qualified for the job ;) 

Last Orion related news, but we had his first parent-teacher conference last night and I'm pleased that there were mostly only positive things to say about his development and progress. The teacher is highly impressed with his artistic skills and even used the word "phenomenal." He does have a tendency to have a hard time with switching activities at school, which is something we see at home too, even when you give a warning...he just gets really focused! And sharing is hard sometimes still, which is another issue we deal with here. He's always making progress though, so I'm looking forward to what we hear at the next conference in February. 

(Some recent parts of Orion's drawings. The smiley orange guy is a squid, I'm told. Also, note the  "Triforce Guy" in the bottom picture).

In other news, I finished Luna's hat from last week! I had to start entirely over after I forgot a lifeline and tried to switch the project to a different set of needles and failed. That was on Friday. On Saturday her and I were up at 4:30 am and so I knit the hat in about three hours so she could wear it to Mike's family gathering that afternoon. Working on i-cord is a ton of fun! I don't enjoy decreasing hats, but I love working in the round. 

Since I took social media off my phone I feel like I am calmer and getting more done. I'll post my new knitting project in a separate Yarn Along post later today, but I also started a Dinner Diary, inspired by THIS article. 

I have two other projects rattling around in my brain to make some headway on soon and this will be the first (maybe only?) place you'll hear about those as well. I do plan to continue posting links to my blog posts on Facebook so you can find them easily, but I would love it if you'd consider leaving any comments here so I don't have to log into Facebook to check/miss anything you have to say :) 

Finally, here's something to make you laugh...a very wonderful mom at Orion's school gave me a bin of little girl clothes. Inside, I found this very...curious...pair of pants (which I am not keeping!!) Bless whomever thought this was a good idea. My sister's comment that "this is proof that society doesn't care what we call our daughters as long as they are pretty" seems accurate! 

Here are few photos of gorgeous, funny (she laughed in her sleep yesterday!), alert, & smart little Luna to end this post.

xoxox until next time!

Little Things 10-17-16

1.

Help! I have too many knitting projects started and no stamina to finish any of them...

Also, I have recently become aware of the existence of the most perfect yarn shop I've ever set foot in (GarenHuis --downtown Holland) and I am very itchy to get back to browse as my trip was cut short by a fussy infant (whom I don't blame. She probably saved me from spending over $50. I spent a conservative $20 so I could grab a ball of yarn for her hat and some needle point covers).

Buying yarn is interesting and I try not to do it as I have a lot of unused yarn...but I have started only buying when I have a project and yardage in mind. I have tons of yarn that I'd like to ideally sell, but I haven't found anyone interested yet. I wonder if there are places you can donate yarn to (like all the cotton yarn I bought for knitting washcloths...it turns out I LOATHE knitting washcloths)?


2.

I'm back on the "no dairy" diet. I actually really like doing this, it makes me feel better (and hopefully will help Luna feel better too), but watching other people eat pizza kind of blows. I don't even particularly crave pizza, especially greasy delivery pizza, but when I'm on a dairy free diet it really is a sad state of affairs when we have pizza night and I'm eating just crust and sauce.

And then I had to pass up cannoli on Saturday at a restaurant. That was hard. Another almost-oops happened at Starbucks when I ordered a chocolate croissant because I went shopping without eating breakfast first...didn't eat the croissant after I realized it was laden with milk (I brought it home and my sister ate it). Pfftt. Did you know that Pumpkin Spice Latte SYRUP has milk in it? So even if you order soy or coconut milk there will still be dairy in the drink. Meh.


3.

I've heard it said that in some cultures there is a 40 day rest period after you give birth to a baby. Well, Luna's one month old birthday is in two days & ten more days after that is almost the end of the month...so I'm giving myself 42 days of rest and then I'm jumping back into cutting down on screen time and being a more involved mom for the boys. We were doing so well before I gave birth!

But, everything is a phase...I have noticed that since they've been watching more TV lately that they've had a little bit more of an attitude. Probably from lack of attention from me. I've been so busy learning Luna and keeping her fed that I haven't been the best at giving anyone else undivided attention. Anyway, no more beating myself up about it. Just thinking about starting to fix it. I especially want to get back to reading to them for extended periods of time each day. We were having at least two 20-30 minute story times a day (not including bedtime stories) when the screen time was limited. I have been stocking up on arts and craft supplies, which I think will help coax them back to self-entertaining and we will be using a lot of those this week :)

I also am realizing the need for a shift in discipline for Orion as he is maturing--time outs aren't really working anymore. I think a chore chart to earn his screen time may be my next big project. He does well with incentives. How do you discipline or encourage good behavior in your 4-5 year olds??


4.

(exploring new teas--I bought this because many years ago there was a berry tea from Teavana I liked quite a bit)

I'd like to start drinking more tea. The only teas I really enjoy are peppermint and Sleepytime, however. I do not like floral teas of any sort. What other sort of tea should I try? Black tea is alright, but sort of boring. I don't put milk or sugar in my tea. It just gets cold in here starting the time of year and I like a warm drink around 3pm and around bedtime...


5. I cried quietly for the first time yesterday while holding Luna, because when she sleeps and her eyes flutter, she looks like my mom. Or at least it reminds me of my mom. It's very interesting how the first few weeks of life and the period of nearing the end of life are similar in so many ways.

Seasons Change and So Do I...

I've been having a difficult time not only falling asleep lately, but also staying asleep. We have about a month until Baby #3's due date and I'm up to hourly bathroom trips whenever I lay down to try and rest. The falling asleep portion, that's new though. It's not my hips anymore keeping me up. Chiropractor work really helped that. It's my mind. I'm not even thinking of baby stuff. Not even worrying...much.

Mostly thinking about projects I'd like to immerse myself in this upcoming year. I just turned 29 last weekend, so it's time to think about how this next year should unfold for myself. I know a great deal of it will be adjusting to being a parent of three and taking care of our newborn/drinking insane amounts of iced coffee/trying to sleep when everyone else sleeps (how the heck is that going to happen)?!

So much change, but what would life be without it?

Yesterday I listened to the latest Rob Bell podcast on Seasons. There was so much comfort for me in hearing about the topic of life changes from someone else. At one point he said something along the lines of "Change is hard because it is always a loss." 

We don't like loss in our world. Even if we receive something new afterwards. We cling to the residuals of our loss. I'm going to lose out on the way being the mom of two boys feels, just like I lost out on the way being the mom to one child was...and there is no shame in mourning that with a small piece of my heart. But what we are gaining will be met with such joy. I'm so torn up that her Ama won't be here to meet her and that her knowledge of someone I love so deeply will only be told through me and other family. The change of not having her here to greet my daughter will be hard. It will remind me of my losses, but, still, the season will be new and lovely, as the birth of a new child always is. And I can't forget that in the midst of all the other chaos in my heart.

This is also the time of year I start to think about preparing myself for the long Michigan winter. I adore fall and could bask in the beauty of it for an entire year, but I cannot be distracted entirely, for after the season of autumn comes the season of winter that always wants to wrestle with my emotional and mental well being until I am exhausted and begging for it to release us all from the torment. So, I start early with a game plan to stay busy. I pin a lot of recipes to make, activities for the kids, and stockpile books for myself. This year I have a book called Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Know to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder to read and wield against my nemesis. I'm trying to spin winter positively in my mind as a time where we have to lay low and rest. This year that sounds rather appealing, but I know around Jan-Feb I will be restless and feeling caged in by the monotony and feet of lake effect snow.

So, what exactly are my plans for the upcoming months? What are my plans for this space, which has been neglected in the past month?

• I'd like to write an article about an experience I had earlier this year attending a weekend Goddess Retreat and how it was a transformational experience that I would recommend regardless of your religious affiliation (or lack thereof). 

• I am planning on keeping up with the "what we are eating" type posts--I am waiting on one picture before I can publish the article from last weeks meals.

• About one year ago I started to explore my intuition and methods for tapping into the collective unconscious that worked best for me. I have gained so much and believe that I do have a gift to eventually share, but right now, I am working on a personal index to help me with that work. Eventually I hope to offer services online or in person. 

• Continuing to learn and grow as a parent. We are going to be entering the world of Preschool in the next few weeks and the excitement is building! Mr. Two will have some alone time with me for a week or two...and then, baby sister should join us!! Deep breathing for all the new challenges ahead...

• I want to continue to be there for friends, helping out however I can. We have been really showered in blessings this year from so many different sources and I have tried to give what I can when I can to others and it makes me feel so connected to do so. This is definitely an area to continue to be open and improving in. I think this is the first time I've really realized what the phrase "building community" is all about.

• Keep a look out in your mailbox later this year because I decided I'll be writing one of those hokey Christmas newsletters for our family :) So many new people to keep in touch with and I also realized that it would be a lovely way to share Orion's amazing artwork with friends and family...

• Crafts and yarn work. Oi!!!!!! I have three works in progress on knitting needles, a pom pom mobile to complete SOON, a daily journal I try to jot notes in regularly, pictures that NEED to be changed out in all our frames, a wrapped twig project for the nursery, and a photo album to caption by this upcoming Saturday. Then there are projects I haven't even started buying materials for...and to imagine last spring I thought I would knit all the kids sweaters for Christmas. HA HA HA. Maybe next year...

Because Everyone Needs More Internet Blogs and Articles to Read

I just have to interject with some of my favorites lately:

THIS blog post just knocked the breath right out of me. If you don't want to read the whole thing, start with the paragraph: "The most radical discipline for me right now is to live in the love of Christ. To abide there, not just in the quiet of my bedroom before the day begins (though, oh how I love that) or in the stillness before bed, but in each moment" and read through to the end.

Someone either needs to stop me from making this or come over, preferably with some brie cheese in tow, and make it together with me (we could make homemade crackers to go with it! I'm odd like that)!

It sure sounds like Amanda Watters over at Homesong blog has a healthy grasp on the balance of providing herself with some valuable learning time during her busy days as a parent. I could definitely learn from this model (see: three blog posts ago).

I'm a Kondo fan, but I definitely admit that it can seem like she lives in a fantasy world at times. This New York Times article was a thoughtful look at the women who brought the "spark joy" mantra to the organizing/de-cluttering scene.

Little Things

1.   Actually not a "little thing," but we purchased new bedroom furniture for the boys with some tax refund money. They both have twin beds now that have under-bed storage, guard rails on the beds, and new sheets and blankets (which they love, despite not fitting my personal aesthetic choice...must let kids be kids, I suppose).
They moved into Otto's old nursery, because before he was born we painted, put in a new light fixture, took the popcorn ceiling texture off, and had the carpet replaced. Now we are hoping to do the same to Orion's old room before the new baby arrives. However, Otto is still sleeping in the crib and so it is like we've just done a room swap at the moment.
Orion LOVES his new bed and has adjusted very well. I hope that Otto will adjust to sleeping outside of the crib soon. I tried to get him to take his nap in the toddler bed in the other room yesterday, but it didn't work. Place him in the crib, however, and he is down like a sack of potatoes. Long way to go!

2. We have a book called The Children's Baking Book (or close to it) that was in my family when I was a child. All the recipes are illustrated and Orion loves to read it as a bedtime story (yes! Taking after mama! Nothing like a good cookbook). So this weekend, we decided to actually make a recipe from the book together. We made choux pastry and used it to make cream puff spiders! The boys had lots of fun and the results were very tasty. Orion has already decided he wants us to make the chocolate dinosaur cake from the book for his birthday. It is a great book because he can read the ingredients for us (two eggs = photo of two eggs, etc). Both the boys love helping us in the kitchen :)

3. Otto is such a stubborn child, yet the most adorable goofball in our family. He is a constant climber and lately loves to cling to me. He would sit on my lap all day if I let him (and last week we had a "couch day" when I was pretty ill where we mostly did that). His stubbornness streak comes out especially in regards to his speech. He has said lots of words and he always knows what you are saying, but he refuses to repeat words on command! Lots of head shaking "no" these days and he also gives a great cold shoulder if he is set in his ways about not wanting to do something. Diaper changes are getting harder. But, he is always smiling and silly with us and a good sport with his brother (but not above pushing if Orion is in his space). I love seeing his unique personality develop. He likes to growl and roar too! 

3. The screencap below illustrates one of my major flaws. I communicate my frustrations using the words "everything," "all of it," "nothing," "anything." etc far too often. When I saw this it made me laugh so much that I had to send it to Mike. At least someone else gets it.

4. I hate shopping at Mejier and I've mostly given up. I've even ventured into Wal-mart twice in the past month because I am avoiding Mejier! That is more times than I have been to Wal-mart in the past two years already. Usually, Sam's Club, Aldi, and Family Fare do--but I was out on errands and ended up at Mejier. I had to bring home pizza sauce. One thing. OF COURSE, they were out of every single brand of pizza sauce. Usually they are just out of my favorite (Mejier Natural) and I go for the DeLallo can, but on this day they were out of EVERYTHING, even the yucky squeeze bottle sauce. I had to buy pasta sauce. I wish I could just make my own pizza sauce, but after my canning failure this past summer, I am scared to try it quite yet, since tomato sauce is more complicated than jam (which I botched).

5. I just purchased myself a new headcovering today! I absolutely love keeping my hair up and out of my face + wearing a head cover. It's very comfortable to me. This style is exactly what I was looking for and in my favorite shade--grey! It is from Rosi's Boutique on Etsy. I'm excited to try her designs after following on Instagram for awhile. Last time I indulged in purchasing headcovers/headbands, I bought them from Garlands of Grace and while they were beautiful, they were not thick enough fabric in my opinion to hold my hair the way I was hoping. 

Thank you all for the comments on my last entry! I am going to try to post at least once weekly here, even if it is mundane entries like the one today.