I Miss this Space

Hello Again, Dear Blog.

I miss being in this space. I'm a little thrilled it still exists. So much has changed for our family since I've written last. We now have a papa who bought a home in our town, a new promotion for dad at work, and we are expecting our fourth baby come November! Orion will start all day kindergarten in just a few weeks and Otto will start four year old preschool three days a week as well. Just me and Luna some of those days...

It's my intention to post here again. I keep thinking as I watch endless loops of Instagram stories how tiring it is; how I'd rather turn people to my blog to read about my minimalism, my knitting, my meal planning, and general homemaker"ish" life. Hopefully someone is still out there who will read it.

Be Back Soon.

<3

Yes, I am Still Out Here!

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the long absence. So much is going on lately! I have lost interest in knitting for now so the knit along posts sort of fell off my radar. For now, I am finishing up a spring hat for Luna and then I will put away the needles for some time. The whole sock making nonsense didn't work out very well on my first try. Maybe next year I can take a class.

Big exciting news is that Mike and I are 100% free of student loan debt and credit card debt! Right now all we owe on is our mortgage and the van. It's so amazing to finally be here! A generous gift and Mike's work bonus this year let us get to this place. Now, it's learning to use my new adjusted bimonthly budget responsibly so that we can continue to move in a positive direction (and also, it's time to splurge on new pots and pans that aren't yucky non-stick).

Also, you might have heard if you follow me on other platforms, but I recently had surgery to remove my gallbladder. I am so very thankful to report I feel much, much better than I have in a long time! The first week of recovery was very hard and I am filling with so much gratitude that even though I had to cancel a much anticipated trip to Florida, my dad, his wonderful companion, AND my sister all flew here to support us instead! It was a real treat and a blessing to share time with all of them and to be assured that the kids were in great hands while I was in surgery with Mike. As of now, I feel pretty much 100%, but sometimes heavy lifting is a bit much. Just taking it slow.

Now that Spring is here, all the energy and inspiration I've been sensing the past while has finally built to where I absolutely must do something about it, even at risk of what others may think. I told Mike, I am turning thirty soon, and I am ready for more. To be more open and commit to vulnerability in my personal relationships and in the work I want to share with the world...

I feel like a butterfly emerging from a too tight cocoon, as overused as the metaphor may be.

So, look forward to an announcement coming soon.

<3 Emily

Daily Life Photo Update

Mike's been fond of saying "Life...it's so weird" lately. I agree, but I need to add that as weird and tiring as life is, it is also amazing and worthwhile and special to even be here experiencing it, even at the times when I am the most discouraged. My family shines bright even when the world is dark and I'm grateful for all the small good things in my life (my advice: set down your phone. You'll be surprised at how much more you can notice and savor if you do. I swear after one day without the thing I wish I could live that way more often...can you all start calling me instead of texting? That would help. Ha ha).

The boys asked for haircuts and the next morning they wanted "dinosaur hair" for church.

Little Lu is already a multiple time roller (who keeps waking herself up at night).

A peaceful spot of my own...these are really necessary right now.

We've been playing board games in the morning. Don't mind the wall...progress is being made on it!

Orion "reading" to Luna. They have a good relationship already. 

He likes to tell her what e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is. 

Finally, a morning at preschool where recess could be outside!

 My side of the dresser...

Usual morning activities going on...

Meal planning set-up

I just love her!!!

Buying the kid friendly knives was a GREAT decision. They helped cut up grapes and peaches for the fruit salad and now every evening Otto asks what he can cut for dinner!

Otto also likes to find my phone and steal it to take photos...He took this picture of Orion!

Chocolate Babka from Smitten Kitchen. It didn't rise as well as last time.

I can't believe she will be 5 months in a few days!!

We (finally) got a new vacuum!!! It's amazing!! Our old thing was a beast and even Mike had a hard time pushing it on our plush carpets. Now I can do it with ease :)

I plan on posting a Yarn Along post tomorrow and I'll try to think up something interesting to write about here. I'm sure you understand that it has been hard to think of things with the state of the world currently (and then a baby with the four month sleep regression). I do miss writing though!! Would you be interested in a post detailing the blogs I currently love? 

Yarn Along 1/18/17

Halfway through knitting my Pussyhat. I'm making one for myself even though I found out about the project too late to send any hats to DC. I am finding it very magical to be making the exact same thing as thousands of other women and very cathartic to be doing something--no matter how small and "menial"--to protest all the hate and negativity that the political sphere is throwing at us. This pattern is similar to the Kit Kat Hat that was in my Ravelry queue as well :)

I finished Written in My Own Heart's Blood last night and just started Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women. I found this book at a local thrift shop and thought about how it fits nicely into the criteria for the Goodreads book club my friend Maggie started. I hope to recommend it there after I finish it. It's one of my personal goals this year to read more books about history (yes, I am keeping that vague on purpose--history of countries, history of religions, histories of anything, really...).






Join the Yarn Along and share your current knits + reads by visiting Ginny's site.

A Visit from Papa! and Other Small Updates

dealing with some sinus issues and feeling run down but this week has been a very nice break from the monotony of everyday winter life, because from Sunday through yesterday we had our papa with us!!

we had a really nice dinner on monday night with my dad, who brought over cheese & crackers (as is the Freyer way) along with pears & artichokes. the boys loved the artichokes! i was very excited about that, even if you do drench them in butter. mike made chicken wings in his new fryer and i made crispy crowns (which are orion's "favorite thing that is crispy! and also, my favorite thing that is crowns."). maybe not a balanced meal, but really delightful-- i get a lot of joy watching otto eat 5 or more chicken wings ("bone bones!" he calls them).

tuesday papa got to come with us to take orion to preschool and see his classroom. we did some errands and visited the library with the other kids while orion was in class. papa was even kind enough to babysit tuesday night so mike and i could go out to dinner together, which hasn't happened at all since baby luna made her appearance back in september!

i feel like we made some good memories to tide us over until he returns in the spring (and our aunt marti even visited yesterday. she was a good sport who subjected herself to sitting through a long presentation of every drawing orion has completed in the past month, handed to her one by one for inspection, followed by a scooby doo movie because orion was determined to change her into a fan).

i always love when i get to spend time with my family. everything is different now, but i am very glad to have them whenever they can be here.

Luna is 3mo and 25 days old!

luna really really really wants to roll over and is very close. enough so that the grand un-swaddling has begun. i'm not about to let her roll over all wrapped up and unable to get back the right way. when that happened unexpectedly with otto i almost had a heart attack. and so. we are left to the alternative of disjointed sleep as she tries to figure out how to sleep through flailing limbs and i try to learn to comfort her sweetly and effectively without being a crutch to her or freaking out entirely. sleep regressions...i hate you. you always seem to happen unexpectedly right when we've reached a nice sweet spot of thinking we are finally going to be able to sleep like normal people again. i'm trying very hard to get her some naps with substance so that she continues being the sweet baby you see in the above photo ;) 

my head feels like daggers are going through my eyeballs constantly, so i really have no desire to be social or do more than the bare minimum at the moment. i'm disheartened to learn this could last for 4-6 weeks before i feel better. thank goodness i have no fever and therefore don't have to take antibiotics. thank goodness i am not reading the news because i feel like my headache would be five times worse due to all the nasty political nonsense. double thank goodness there is an ice day here today so no school (although i feel really bad about that too because it was going to be pajama party day and orion was really looking forward to it).

amended to add: his teacher called me and they will have pajama day on tuesday...phew! 

yes. recovery is the plan for the rest of the week. recovery from company, recovery from lack of home maintenance (laundry mountains are high), and hopefully some recovery of health if i can sneak in a few extra showers. hot washcloths are the most helpful things for my face at this moment. hot lemon water is good too.

here's a photo of my current knitting project. the pattern is the most simplistic thing ever, but right now that is about all i can handle. i also like how it looks. hopefully i can take a full stock of my yarn situation here soon and make a game plan for next projects. considering knitting some baby hats for the hospital as i have a lot of half-skeins of baby yarn laying around...decided against the lace mess shawl for now as i realized i don't have enough yarn.

until next time, where i hopefully will be in better spirits and running on a little more sleep...:)

New Year, Same Old Project (Yarn Along 1/4/17)

I'm so close!!!

5 more rows and then the final section!! I'm renaming this shawl the Never-ending Age of Brass and Steam...at least I took a photo where you can finally see the full beauty of the yarn color.

I meant to have a new project to show you today actually. I started a pair of fingerless gloves for myself as my hands are always freezing in this house, but I ended up frogging it after 12 or so rows once I realized that playing LEGOs and knitting simultaneously don't mix. Some day I hope to be able to multitask while knitting...at least I wasn't in love with the yarn I had chose :)

Currently reading:

1. Lots of info about Ebook writing...YES, I am going to be writing an Ebook. Can you guess the topic? Hint: It's not about knitting ;)

2. It's All Easy by Gwyneth Paltrow (I don't care what other people think; I adore her. Her recipe for salmon is one of my all time favorites).

3. Captain Underpants...Found two more in the series to add to our collection at the Little Free Library. Reading out loud to the boys...it's a good step up from a picture book, but keeps their attention more than a full-fledged chapter book.




I'm looking forward to seeing what you are knitting and reading to start the New Year! If you aren't already, please join the Yarn Along by visiting Ginny's page.

Orion's Art Collection

Some recent drawings by my favorite artist! I've been wanting to post photos of his art for awhile now (I lack no amount of them. He's a very prolific artist and will make at least three new drawings a day). Enjoy!

He's been asking us what we are scared of lately and drawing pictures of it (I keep saying, "Maybe you can draw things we like" and his answer is, "But these are for Halloween!") Obviously, I said I was scared of clowns. Orion decided to make him a clown that throws bombs. Very terrifying stuff!

Mario and Luigi. I love when he draws detailed eyes.

Outer space, complete with asteroids and a little octo-alien. 

Bowser

This is a haunted gingerbread house. Note the angry ghost and bad guys on the right. Orion is the character with the red hat and when I asked him why he had no clothes on he told me, "That purple stuff is sticky glue for building the house and I not want to get my clothes dirty." Sound logic indeed!!

Link from Zelda

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles AND their pet turtle, Spike. 

Ahoy!

Spiderman! I love the intricate details of his costume. 

My New Year's Intentions

• Give up mascara forever (It makes my eyes so uncomfortable! It's never worth the extra "prettiness," and I have thrown out three tubes this year after forgetting that).
• Continue to let my hair grow long?? 
• To only wear things that make me happy & comfortable.
• Attend church on a more regular basis and stop making excuses.
• Joyfully attend to my chores at home & continue to make our home a cozy haven.
• Play with my children daily, even if it means neglecting my chores.
• Recover from my fears and go outside more often. 
• To treat my husband as a true friend. 
• Find a way to make the community I so badly need as I cannot find it already in existence near me.
• To continue to make time for my crafts & hopefully to not have to frog any knitting this year!
• Learn more about local plants and nature. Maybe herbalism, although I am not sure I feel called to that specific study. 
• Keep up with my daily planner, my spiritual notebook, and my meal planning diary, as well as this blog.
• Write the book/zine that has been weighing on my heart for months now--to get it out there no matter if it does anything for anyone but me.
• Stretch/do yoga poses in some amount daily.
• Stay hydrated and continue to stay away from soda pop.
• "Give love" (i.e. hugs and kisses) multiple times a day to my family. 
• Make a more concrete sleep routine and boundaries.
• Use post-it notes to my advantage (Bathroom mirror reminders & mantras).
• Offer something of my unique gifts to the world without shame.
• Release things that aren't helping me...Facebook friends who post things that ramp up my anxiety...news and websites I don't need to be dwelling on..."coaches," guides, and authors who don't really speak to or inspire me...unfollow them all....to release these things with love & just realize they don't work for me. 
• Daily prayer/daily gratitude
• Go to Ludington and listen to the wind blow through the trees at the house.
• Give more/lose lack mentality/recognize my privileges
• Read to my children daily...even as a book lover sometimes it is hard to get this done.
• Accept the next stage. That life is for the living and we have to keep on...no, not that we "have" to keep on...that we GET to keep on and that it is a gift. 

What do you have planned for 2017? Can we help each other or can I encourage you on your journey? 

in which i write in a somewhat different way but i hope you'll bear with me (+ Christmas photos).

this is how it always used to be. stream-of-conscious. no time for capitals. no explanations.

i see 5:55 all the time. it means a change. a positive change. i sure hope so. i feel like i've been removing crusty sleepers from my eyes lately. i've been scared a lot but i feel like maybe i am starting to turn the corner on that. the 555's have helped. everything with my body has been setting me off lately since the kidney stone incident. the weather fluctuations have me feeling under, the lack of sleep from nursing and enjoying the holidays has taken it's toll. i need to get back to a safe place where i can say "it is well with my soul." i heard that "rumination" causes anxiety and depression and i certainly ruminate too much. i'd like to stop!

it's been quiet in the house the past day and night without all the boys here. did i ever think i would miss the noise? and yet...

here are some photos from Christmas and the holiday season thus far:

Painting after being inspired by Bob Ross on Netflix

Out shopping with Dad for Christmas dinner

Hunting for the pickle on the Christmas tree

 Cookie Time

 Otto's new blocks from Papa and new Pirate Ship from Santa

"Manty" the praying mantis! Orion's new BFF

 Christmas Dinner was Chicken Picatta, but I forgot to make the fried lemon slices.

 Another Christmas gift was kid-safe knives for the boys. We tried them out with pears at breakfast a couple days ago.

Luna, happy as usual :) 

there are no photos of me winning a close game of scrabble, which also happened, or of many other small happy moments i am trying to carry close to my heart. even when things are hard, they aren't so hard that in a year i'll be upset over them still. keep calm and carry on is what i'll tell myself. look at that smiling baby and those wonderful boys. who wouldn't consider them the best gifts of all time??

Yarn A Long - Will I Finish These WIPs by New Year's??

I'm 60% done with my book, but my digital library loan expired on my Kindle this morning, so I'm happy that I thought ahead and picked up a hard copy of the book at the actual library on Tuesday. It's a monster, but I am determined to finish it by year's end...the same with the two pictured knitting projects...

#1 is my third Barley hat in a row and is for the boy's two year old cousin, Vienna. I think she'll get a kick out of having the same style as them. I'll be finishing it off this morning.

#2 is my blasted Age of Brass and Steam shawlette-thing. I've learned so many things with this project...number one being, don't knit dark yarn on dark needles! The needles I'm using are super nice, but very hard to see what I am doing with the dark green yarn (which sadly didn't show up in the photo in it's beautifully variegated tones).

I am also running into the issue of knots where I had to re-tie the yarn together after Otto tangled it before I was able to wind it. Lesson #2-- don't forget to ask the yarn shop to wind my yarn for me!! I'm not looking forward to fixing all the imperfections in this piece.

See the yarn in the bottom left hand corner? That's what is keeping me going! I can't wait to cast on a new project for the new year! Trying to decide if I brave the Lace Mess Shawl or make myself a hat...the Kit Kat hat looks appealing...

If I don't update before the year's end, I wish you the best! Bring on 2017!

(You can join the yarn a long by visiting the Small Things blog)

My Favorite Books of the Past Five Years!

2016 is the fifth year in a row I've kept track of all the books I've read (well, except cookbooks) on Goodreads! In celebration of this fact, I thought I would share a list of my utmost favorites with all of you today. These books are not in order of favoritism, but merely chronological by year.

2012


Columbine by Dave Cullen

This book still haunts me. It was an outstanding piece of journalism I read while rocking baby Orion in his bouncer all the wee hours of the morning at my parent's house.

What We Have: A Family's Inspiring Story of Love, Loss, and Survival by Amy Boesky

This was a book about a family where women all passed away from ovarian cancer. It was one of the first books dealing with cancer I read after mom's diagnoses.

2012 was also the year I read the Game of Thrones series and discovered the writing of Anne Lamott.

2013

The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

I liked this one so much I gave it as a Christmas gift. How could you not love a book that contains the quote: “Instead, we'd do what we always did, the only thing we'd ever been dependably stellar at: we'd read.” 

Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father's Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater by Matthew Amster-Burton

Even now, having raised one non-adventurous eater and one borderline one, I LOVE this book. I recommended it to so many people in 2013-2014. I went bonkers when I discovered the Spilled Milk podcast with the author, Matthew, and Molly Wizenburg. I downloaded every back episode and listened to them all while walking Orion around the neighborhood. I still listen to and fan-girl hard for that podcast and this book. 

The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

If I could be as bold as to recommend one book to read at this time of year from this list, it would be The Snow Child. A modern fairy tale of sorts that kept me captivated.

2014

A Good Marriage by Stephan King

SO scary. Absolutely terrifying. I loved it. This is really a small novella and a very quick but potent read. I got into reading Stephan King novels while Mike was on business trips that year...silly, right??

My Life in France by Julia Child

I absolutely love food memoirs...they are my favorite genre. Reading a book by Julia Child is as good as it gets and you can pass on that movie Julia & Julia and just read this instead for a vivid and full picture of what an amazing life she led. 

An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace by Tamar Adler

I know...another food book, but I mentioned this one in my last post and it really is a game changer. 

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Haunting. Disturbing. Beautiful. 

The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan

I actually disliked this book after I read it. But then I kept thinking about it. And thinking about it. And then I realized it was a really great book because of it's ability to stay stuck in my mind. It's an intense read & very explicit, so be warned if that isn't something you are okay with in a novel. Now looking back, I would not only recommend it, but read it again. I love Amy Tan. 

2015

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

I had no idea they had made this into a TV show when I found my copy at the library used bookstore. In fact, my first thought was "Hey! It's that really large and elegant looking book that always used to stand out to me when I worked at the library but I never opened it" (thank goodness, I was in high school then). 

Since I love HUGE novels that take me forever to go through...I decided to buy and read it...and now here I am, seven HUGE novels later, reading the 8th and final book she has out in the series for the moment. 

This book has everything. My least favorite genre is historical fiction because I usually feel like they don't have enough time to capture everything. Well, this series certainly does. There is time travel for folks who that matters to, sex, death, war, love, many medical procedures described that will make you glad you live in modern times...etc...

I'm also very glad that I've been lucky enough to share my experience reading this series with my friend, Kristen. It's the kind of book you definitely want to share opinions on, make fun of, and have someone you can text at all sorts of weird hours to say "OMG!!" about.

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken

When I was in college, I went to go see Elizabeth McCracken speak one night, because I had read and enjoyed her novel The Giant's House. She talked about writing a book about a circus family, but I believe that that never came to fruition, because this was the next book she wrote, after that talk. It's terrible and so very sad, but beautiful and something everyone should read, regardless if you are a parent or not. 


2016

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O'Toole 

I haven't enjoyed a book as much as I enjoyed this one in at least the last five years. It was the perfect thing to read in the current political climate. I studied English in college and postmodern literature and searching for hidden meanings/enjoying subtleties was one of my favorite parts of my classes. This classic delivered in spades. I actually laughed out loud multiple times, something that no author except maybe P.G. Wodehouse has had me do before.

Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hahn

I've read a lot of spiritual books in the past five years, but this is the one that stuck. Quotes from it bubble up in my head nearly every day and remind me to be more mindful and present. I'm very grateful for books like Hands Free Mama, The Saint's Guide to Happiness, Woman Who Run with the Wolves, etc...but this book is presented so simply and effectively that it was hard to top:

• “We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.” 
•  “Each time you look at a tangerine, you can see deeply into it. You can see everything in the universe in one tangerine. When you peel it and smell it, it’s wonderful. You can take your time eating a tangerine and be very happy.” 
• “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” 

There you have it! My (hopefully) exciting book recommendations. I would love to hear what your favorite read of the past year was if you'd like to leave a comment! Maybe I will read it in 2017 :)

If we aren't already friends on Goodreads, I would love to connect there too!